Are you fully informed of the risks and consequences of sexting? We did the deep dive so you don't have to. Join Madison and I, Joseph, as we unpack the complicated world of teenage sexting, prompted by a recent heart-rending incident. We strip down the layers to reveal what sexting truly is, the variegated motivations behind it, and the potentially lifelong hazards associated with this practice. Consent isn't just a buzzword; it's a crucial pillar in any interaction, and we illuminate its importance in this context, alongside legal implications and coping strategies for any ensuing fallout. We sincerely hope that this dialogue can help avert any future tragedies.
But the risks don't end there. We tackle the less-mentioned, yet equally grave repercussions on mental health, relationships, and future opportunities. Legal penalties for sending explicit content can be severe, and we help you understand the implications. Should you ever find yourself on the precipice of sending a sext, we urge you to pause and reflect on the potential ramifications. We emphasize the fundamental right to say ‘no’ when pressured or uncomfortable, a sentiment we believe needs to be echoed louder in today's digital age.
Our exploration doesn't stop at individual actions; we also scrutinize the broader digital landscape and how it can amplify the dangers of sexting. Given the ease of content duplication and distribution, we discuss how young people potentially find themselves exposed to online predators. The judicial consequences of sexting, particularly for minors, can be grave, with victims often bearing the same weight as those who engage in it. As we conclude our conversation, we encourage audience feedback and provide resources for further exploration. Let's navigate this digital minefield together, to ensure the safety of our impressionable youth.
An original podcast by a husband and wife team of self professed pop-culture geeks. It is a discussion about all things entertainment from movies and music to television and pop culture. We examine some of the more obscure aspects of the entertainment industry.
Insightful Podcasts by Informative Hosts. Insights into Things a podcast network. Welcome to Insights into Teens, a podcast series exploring the issues and challenges of today's youth. Your hosts are Joseph and Madison Whalen, a father and daughter team making their way through the challenges of the teenage years. Insights into Teens a podcast network.
Speaker 2:
Welcome to Insights into Teens. This is Episode 178, sexting. I am your host, joseph Whalen, and my intelligent and responsible co-host, madison Whalen.
Speaker 3:
Hey everybody.
Speaker 2:
How are you doing today, Maddie?
Speaker 3:
I'm doing alright. How about you?
Speaker 2:
I'm doing alright as well. I think we're going to forego some of the normal jovial banter that we go through on these shows. We have kind of a serious topic to talk about today. We're going to skip the plugs and all that stuff too, and I think we're just going to get right into it.
Speaker 3:
Alright.
Speaker 2:
So the main theme of this podcast over the past 170 plus episodes has been to educate, entertain and help teens deal with the trials and tribulations of growing up during some of their most significant formative years. Today's episode is a bit different. This topic was prompted by a recent event that cost the life of a teen through suicide. The story moved me to the point that I wanted to try to ensure the same thing didn't happen to anyone else. We're discussing a very sensitive topic, not to glorify it or to endorse it, nor are we here to pass judgment over anyone who engages in it. Instead, our purpose today is to acknowledge that it happens, discuss the dangers inherently involved in it and try to help teens understand how to cope with the consequences of it should they engage in it, all in the hopes that the fate of that befell the young man in the article we're going to discuss does not happen to anyone else. Now it's important to note this episode does discuss suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the suicide and crisis lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-8255.
Speaker 2:
What is sexting? Sexting is sending and receiving sexual messages through technology such as a smartphone, an app, email or webcam. For some people, sexting is a way to explore sexuality, trust, boundaries and intimacy. However, in some cases, sexting is used to bully, blackmail and exploit. Sexting can involve words, photos or videos, such as a message or a post written with sexual language, nude or semi-nude photos or videos, photos or videos of sexual acts, live chats with someone on webcam involving sexual acts, or screen-captured videos or photos recorded from webcam. Not all teens sext, but those who do, their experiences are very different. Even when there is consent, trust and respect between people who decide to sext, it's hard to be completely sure of a sexual message will be private. For those who do decide to engage in sexting, it's important to know the facts on consent and the law. The decision to sext is a personal one. Not everyone feels the same way about it. Most teens decide not to sext. Older teens are more likely than younger teens to send and receive sex.
Speaker 3:
According to a recent survey of young people who've sent sex in the past, 49% of them sent them to their girlfriend or boyfriend, 43% of them sent them to someone they liked and were hoping to be in a relationship with, 31% sent them to someone they only knew online and 20% sent them to someone they didn't know. Some of the reasons people may choose to sext are to explore sexuality with someone they care about, to connect with someone they like, or because they were pressured to do so by others. According to the same survey, the top reasons young people gave for why they sexted included I do it for fun, I was pressured to get a boyfriend or girlfriend, I was curious and as a joke between friends. The survey found that 28% of young people who had sent sexual messages felt pressured to do it. Most of the time, this pressure was coming from someone who wanted a sext sent to them. For some people, being sexual through a phone app or webcam can feel easier than doing something sexual in person.
Speaker 2:
So now we know we have a frame of reference of what we're talking about here, I'll ask the obvious question that's hanging out there have you ever sexted with someone?
Speaker 3:
No, I've never gotten really close to anybody to really want that sort of thing. I never really felt the need to explore that part of myself and I've never really had an opportunity where I actually wanted to engage in something like that.
Speaker 2:
Has anyone ever solicited something like that from you?
Speaker 3:
No, no one that I know has ever really asked, probably because I either just keep in contact with friends and don't engage in social media, or just that I don't present myself as somebody that really wants anything to do with that.
Speaker 2:
Okay Now do you know if any of your friends have engaged in this sort of activity?
Speaker 3:
Not really. I haven't asked them personally and I don't really know what goes on outside of that. I know that some of them are in relationships, but I don't know if there's anything that's sent between them at all and I kind of you know, like they mentioned, this kind of thing is more or less personal, so I don't really ask too much about it.
Speaker 2:
What are your thoughts on it? Do you think that there's a viable or a legitimate use case for this type of activity?
Speaker 3:
I mean, I could kind of see the purpose in it. Like you know, the idea of exploring your sexuality is an important thing that you know some teenagers tend to go through and this is a way for them to work on that. And I think doing it in a somewhat like more in a kind of privatized manner is probably alright. I wouldn't say this is the best option for exploring it, but it's certainly out there, it can have its benefits and I guess I won't have too much of a problem if somebody's doing it as long as they're not harming themselves or others through it.
Speaker 2:
Okay, that's fair. One of the things that I thought was kind of interesting when I was doing the research for this were the numbers. You know, we talked about the statistics here and half almost half of the respondents to the survey had sent a sext message to somebody else. Do you think those numbers are correct? Do you think it's alarming? Do you think they're really higher than that? And the sample size may not have really shown the true numbers. Do you think that those numbers are spot on?
Speaker 3:
I guess I don't really have too much of a way to judge it myself. I don't, since I haven't experienced it myself, I can't really say for certain how common it is. I don't really tend to focus too much on this sort of thing, so it's kind of hard for me to have my own idea of what I think the numbers would be. So I was surprised by some of the numbers and the ways of how some people were more or less pressured into doing it than they were doing it willingly. But now, kind of thinking about it, I guess that also kind of makes sense, because peer pressure exists in abundance when it comes to teenagers, and I could see people being pressured into sexting just like they would be pressured into doing anything else.
Speaker 2:
The one thing that they don't talk about is what the medium is for some of these sexting events in the article. Obviously, sexting is a phone to phone, using SMS text is one thing, but I could see people using it. They talk about social media in here as well. Facebook comes to mind, twitter, I guess, or X or whatever it is. Now, are you involved? Do you use any of these social media? I know you do you watch YouTube videos? Obviously, I wouldn't consider that social media, but are there any social media platforms that you use now that would engage in something like this?
Speaker 3:
Not really. I have social media apps that were downloaded but I've never actually used them or created them in my own account, mainly because I just don't feel like currently having anything to do with social media and I get enough of and despite the fact that YouTube technically isn't social media, I kind of have an awareness of what happens on social media through YouTube. So I feel like I don't really need to get any of the other apps, since I have one app that technically kind of mentions almost anything and obviously I don't think too many people are using YouTube to sext because that's a little strange.
Speaker 2:
But it's also, I think, against the platform's rules and regulations too. They would shut something like that down pretty quickly.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, but when it comes to other social media apps, I can certainly see it, since you can technically friend people on certain social media apps, or you can make a group with certain people or you can just engage with someone directly with it, and the only real method I have for that is just the regular messaging app, which you can't really do that with, just complete strangers. You have to kind of know the person's number.
Speaker 2:
Okay, we're going to take our first break and when we come back we're going to talk about some of the dangers of sexting. We'll be right back. For over seven years, the Second Scythe Empire has been the premier community guild in the online game Star Wars the Old Republic, with hundreds of friendly and helpful active members, a weekly schedule of nightly events, annual guild meet and greets and an active community both on the web and on Discord. The Second Scythe Empire is more than your typical gaming group. We're family. Join us on the StarFord server for nightly events such as operations, flashpoints, world Boss Hunts, star Wars Trivia, guild Lottery and much more. Visit us on the web today at wwwthesecansytheempirecom.
Speaker 3:
Welcome back to Insights and the Teens. Today we're talking about sexting and now we're going to talk about the dangers of sexting. Sexting can negatively affect your mental health, relationships and future. It can even have legal consequences. Before sending an explicit photo, remember that once an image is out there, you can't take it back. What if you and the other person break up? What if they share your message or photo with their friends or social media networks? What if your parents or teachers found out? In some cases, the image could even end up in the hands of a sexual predator. If your sext includes a photo or video, it's important to remember once it's created, it's impossible to control where it ends up. Some photos and videos shared through an app promising they'll disappear aren't completely private. Some could still save a copy. Someone could still save a copy. Choosing whether or not to sext is a decision only you can make. Feeling uncomfortable or pressured to sext is never okay.
Speaker 2:
If you're considering sexting, here are some questions to ask yourself. First, why do I want to send a sext? It's important that you feel and control whether you send a sext and that you send it because you want to. If you're feeling uncomfortable or pressured, it's always okay to say no. How well do I know the person I'm sexting? Sexting with someone you met online or someone who's much older than you has different legal concerns than sexting with someone your own age.
Speaker 2:
If I send a sext with a photo or video, will I have control of where it ends up? It's impossible to have control of a photo or video once it's sent. What's my gut telling me? Trust your instincts, Only take part in things you feel comfortable with. And finally, will the police get involved? It's very possible the police will get involved, especially if any of the following factors are in play If you were threatened or blackmailed to send the content in question. If abuse or assault is depicted in the content. If you were under the age of 18 and sent it to someone older than yourself, or if it failed to stay private between you and the person you sent it to. You should talk to a lawyer if you have questions about sexting and the law.
Speaker 3:
Sexting can have potential emotional consequences like regret, objectification or victimization, bullying, depression, sadness, social isolation, loss of friendships, loss of respect for yourself or, ultimately, thinking about or actually hurting yourself or others. Sexting can also negatively affect your future, such as your employment, college admission, military admission, your spot on a sports team, scholarships, future relationships or even your mental health, if you have to relive the consequences of your decision. Employers in colleges often look at candidates' social media profiles and online presence. Having nude images or photos of alcohol or drug use could hinder your ability to get a job or into college one day.
Speaker 2:
So what are the legal consequences of sexting? Now, obviously we're not lawyers, we can only kind of scratch the surface on here, but it's one of the things that need to be considered. So if a person involved in sexting is under the age of 18, it's considered child pornography. The legal consequences can vary depending on the state where you live. Some states consider it a felony to both send and receive the photo, even if you didn't ask the person to send the photo. If the person in the image is under 18, you may face legal consequences. If you're the photo taker, a person seen in the picture, the sender, the receiver or just in possession of the photo, sexting can also put you at risk for placement on the sex offender registry and possible jail time. Usually, the consequences are harshest for those who request or share the photo. Even if you're not breaking the law, your school can punish you and others involved, even if you're legal adults.
Speaker 3:
So how do you avoid serious consequences from sexting? First, never take photos of yourself you wouldn't want everyone to see, including your family, classmates and teachers. Never forward someone else's sex-related photos or messages. You could get in serious trouble, especially if the person involved is under the age of 18. What do you do if someone pressures you to sext? If someone asks you to send a nude photo or explicit message, you may be afraid to turn them down because you don't want them to stop liking you. But if someone truly cares about you, they won't ask you to do something that puts your mental health and future at risk. If someone sends you an unwanted message or pressures you to sext, tell a trusted adult. That's sexual harassment and that's not okay.
Speaker 2:
So a couple of interesting things for us to probably break down here. The first is the technology behind it. So, depending on the medium that you send it through, once you create that file, on today's modern cell phones, most of them are cloud connected. So if I can take a picture on my phone, there's a very good chance that a copy of that's going up to the cloud already, whether it's Android, google Cloud or Apple whatever. So there's a copy already right there that's off your phone immediately, without you even realizing after just taking a picture.
Speaker 2:
Those services then do backups themselves. For Apple, for instance, you have two or three different backups of your photos and they do that as a convenience for you so that you don't lose your photos. But if you forget to go and delete one of those photos somewhere, it's always going to be there and that's before you even send it to someone. Once you send it to someone depending on how you send it like, for instance, let's take an SMS message or an iMessage so you have a photo on your phone, a couple of photos in the cloud for Apple. Now you're sending a photo to someone.
Speaker 2:
Now, usually depending on what kind of phone they have if they have an Android phone and you're sending a movie or a large folder, what Apple will do is it will store it in a temporary location on the web and then send link. Well, that link goes to the person, they click on it and they're pulling it down right there, so they have a copy of it. They could send that link to someone else. So now you've got at least two more copies floating around out there of whatever it is Possibly more if they send it to someone else.
Speaker 2:
So let's say you send it to someone through Facebook. Well, facebook gives you the ability to delete your stuff, but Facebook's deletion of your stuff isn't actually deletion of your stuff. One, because you're using a browser. So when you upload it through a web browser you've got a local cache and that local cache then uploads it. So there's a copy in your cache. You send it to your friend. Your friend looks at it. It goes into their cache. So even if they delete the file after downloading it, it still sits in their cache there, so someone can get to it.
Speaker 3:
Yep.
Speaker 2:
Unless it sits on Facebook servers, and Facebook is infamous for allowing you to delete and I do that in air quotes delete your content, but they never really delete it. They simply hide it from you so that you can't access it anymore, but they never delete it. So you don't know what these service providers are out there we're going to do. It's a lot different than you know.
Speaker 2:
If you took a Polaroid of yourself. For those of you out there that don't know what a Polaroid is, it was a camera that you pushed a button and the picture came out and developed itself. It's a very unique idea, Well before digital cameras, but that was the only copy that you had. There were no negatives. You know you, normally in a traditional camera, you take pictures on a roll of film, which generates negatives. You take those negatives and get them developed, but you always have the negatives. So we'll polar. You never had negatives. But the point is that picture you snapped is the only copy of that that ever existed. The notion of that doesn't exist anymore. As soon as you push that shutter button on your phone, there's probably five to 15 copies of that somewhere within the next two minutes. So you have to keep that in mind. The technology right now is geared towards distribution and backups, so there's no such thing as privacy when it comes to that.
Speaker 3:
Yep.
Speaker 2:
So that's very important to keep in mind. And the other thing they talk about, it's a very simple rule Don't take pictures of anything that you wouldn't want your parents or friends or teachers or anyone else to see, even if you do it for yourself. It's probably not a good idea with the technology that you have today, because it's so persistent. You know we're kind of a victim of our own success when it comes to the technology today Because we're so geared towards back up everything. Everything needs to be backed up 12 times. I'm just as bad the way I back up our data. You know we've got five local copies over here just because I'm paranoid about losing family photos.
Speaker 3:
Yep.
Speaker 2:
What do you think? Do you think that the technology today makes sexting too easy and too dangerous?
Speaker 3:
Yeah, definitely, Because it certainly makes it a lot more dangerous because, well, there's millions of copy, there's going to be like tons of copies of an image you sent and it could go to literally anybody, including predators. And the idea that you also have the ability of that technology and just easily message somebody, that also you know it makes it too easy and it's just too dangerous in general. But the technology and the ways of how fast communication and consistent backup what are your thoughts on the on the legal consequences?
Speaker 2:
Because you're on the 18. If you engaged in this act with somebody and sent someone else, you know, an inappropriate picture of yourself, you'd be legally liable for that. That would technically be child pornography, even though you're the one who technically would would be victimized there. Because that, I mean, it terrifies me. But does it scare you at all to think that something like that could happen to you?
Speaker 3:
Yeah, kind of follows the same rule I remember my school having which I always kind of thought wasn't all that fair was the idea of how, like, if a person is fighting you, if you fight back, you're just as guilty as the other person, which I wouldn't say is the most fair thing to say. Like, if you just got bullied consistently for like years and never actually fought back, and then fought back one time and then you were entirely punished, like I'd say that that's a bit extreme to like give the same punishment to the person that got beat up as the person that beat them up. And you know, I never liked the idea of victim blaming and like, sure, if they actively engaged in it, even if they were considered to be the minor, it's like okay I guess. But like even just receiving it when you, when it was completely unwanted, and still being liable to a crime for it, it's just that that seems messed up.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it's a little extreme, but I think they kind of do that almost as a scared straight type thing to to kind of really hammer home the significance of it to kids. I don't know, I don't know what the motivation is behind it.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, I mean, I'm all, I'm all for like actually having legal accountability for this sort of thing, especially if you know minors are involved with it. It's just I don't know, it seems to kind of push the extremes on occasion.
Speaker 2:
It does, but I and I think, I think the motivation is understandable the law enforcement does not, and the authorities and parents and everyone else doesn't want kids getting involved in stuff like this because of how dangerous it is. So they just may be pushing the boundaries too far to punish the kids who do get involved in it, when really the kids are the ones that are being victimized. And what you need to do is you need to punish the people, and they do. They punish the people that are pressuring the kids into doing these types of things, but sometimes there are other kids and it's, you know, it's a. It's a very difficult situation Once you go down that path. It's a very difficult situation to navigate. So we're going to take our second break and when we come back, we're going to talk a little bit about well, we're going to talk a lot about the consequences, the actual real life consequences that can come from sexting. We'll be, we'll be right back.
Speaker 1:
Insights into entertainment, a podcast series taking a deeper look into entertainment and media. Our husband and wife team of pop culture fanatics are exploring all things, from music and movies to television and fandom. We'll look at the interesting and obscure entertainment news of the week. We'll talk about theme park and pop culture news. We'll give you the latest and greatest on pop culture conventions. We'll give you a deep dive into Disney, star Wars and much more. Check out our video episodes at youtubecom backslash insights into things, our audio episodes at podcastinsightsintoentertainmentcom, or check us out on the web at insightsintothingscom.
Speaker 2:
This segment, we're going to discuss a news article that involved the suicide of a young man. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide again, we ask you to please contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or at 1-800-273-8255. Jordan DeMay was a 17 year old high school student and football player whom his father, john DeMay, described as quote smart. He was a good student and he was a great athlete.
Speaker 3:
The teenager began chatting with someone he thought was a woman on Instagram. The account was real, but had been hacked and sold to a 22 year old Nigerian man named Samuel Agassi, who posed as a woman. He used the profile to coerce young men into sending explicit photos of themselves. He allegedly used the photos as leverage for money. According to the FBI, jordan fell victim to this version of extortion, which is termed sex distortion. The 17 year old football player's tragic fate is not uncommon in America and across the world. Teens across the US are falling victim to sex distortion on social media.
Speaker 2:
Jordan's father described the attack as quote someone came into his bedroom at 3 in the morning and murdered him through Instagram when we were all sleeping at night and we had zero chance to stop it. John DeMay is sounding the alarm about sex distortion after his 17 year old son, jordan, died by suicide last year. The suspect in Jordan's death is one of three suspects from Lagos arrested recently for allegedly hacking Instagram accounts and sexually extorting or extorting more than 100 men online.
Speaker 3:
The FBI defines extortion as a serious crime in which the perpetrators threaten to expose the victim's sensitive or private information in exchange for sexually explicit material.
Speaker 2:
Agassi threatened to distribute the explicit pictures the 17-year-old sent to the compromise account of Jordan if Jordan didn't pay him a ransom. The attacker demanded a thousand dollars. Jordan sent 300 and the attacker threatened to expose the victim to his family and friends if he didn't send more. Distraught and not sure what to do, Jordan messaged Agassi, telling him he'd been sent to kill himself. Good, Agassi responded Do that fast or I'll make you do it. Jordan DeMay did do it.
Speaker 3:
A 2018 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, or JAMA, had found that nearly 15% of US youth were sending sexed or sexual texts, while 27% of youth were receiving them. The perpetrators pose as real people, often as attractive women or men online, and target young and vulnerable victims. They will reach out directly to victims and strike up an online conversation, gain the victim's trust one way or another and convince them to send nude photos. Once the photos are exchanged, the perpetrators threaten to share them or make them public if the victims do not send money, other personal information or more explicit images. The scheme pushes some teens beyond their breaking point.
Speaker 2:
Jordan's father said he encourages parents and teenagers to learn about the risks of sex distortion and have a plan in place if it happens to them or someone they know. Specifically, he advises victims to turn off their phones and contact law enforcement or the FBI immediately. He also said he would tell Jordan every single day, if he had a chance, that threats from the sex distortionists were not the end of his life. He goes on to say that kids have to just understand that this isn't the end of whatever they think is their life, because it's not to. May explained.
Speaker 3:
The National Center for Missing and Exploded Children's Cyber Type Line received about 32 million reports of suspected child exploitation in 2022. The online incitement category of the cyber type line saw an 82% increase in complaints between 2021 and 2022.
Speaker 2:
The FBI encourages anyone who believes they're victims of sex distortion or knows someone who may be, to contact their local FBI office or toll free at 1-800-CALL-FBI. So this obviously is an extreme case of consequences as a result of sexting. We talked about some of the other potential downfalls of sexting, but when I read this article itself, being a parent and being a parent of a child who's of this age range, it kind of struck a nerve with me. And it's looking at these statistics about the 82% increase in complaints in just over a year. It's a real problem there's.
Speaker 2:
I mean it's going to sound cliche, but there's bad people out there. There's bad people on the internet and they're going to do things, nefarious things, to try to get money from you to something, to just do things maliciously. People just they're just evil and they'll do things to harm you or to get you to harm yourself, not necessarily for any financial motive at all. And I thought if there was anything that we do on this podcast, it's we try to be positive, we try to be upbeat, we try to teach kids and parents how to get through some of these difficult things. And I read the quotes about Jordan's father here and I could almost echo those thoughts by self and I thought maybe we might have a chance to maybe reach out and help educate other people about this and to try to prevent something like this. What are your thoughts?
Speaker 3:
Yeah, honestly, I believe the same thing, like obviously we always try to make sure that we keep everything lighthearted because we've talked about darker topics in the past and we've always tried to at least bring some lightheartedness to the situations, while still not downplaying the severity of all of them and I do think that bringing more awareness to this is the best way that we can stop it. It's how we can stop anything pretty much bad from happening is try to bring more awareness to it, because if more people know about it, there's going to be more people willing to stop it or at least be aware of it, so that it doesn't happen as often.
Speaker 2:
I would agree with you 110%. I think that I think mission accomplished today. I don't want to drag this out too far and it was kind of a dark topic. We usually are not quite this low key, but I wanted to make sure we treated this subject with the respect that it deserved. I think we're going to forego the closing remarks. I think what you just told us there, I think, very easily summed up the overall sentiment we have here.
Speaker 2:
Before we do go, though, I did want to throw some quick plugs out there just to remind folks to subscribe to the podcast. You can find audio versions of this podcast listed as insights into teens, and you can find audio and visual of all the networks podcast listed as insights into things, and we're available on Apple podcasts, spotify, google, iheart Radio. Tune in pretty much anywhere you get a podcast. I would also invite you to write in, give us your feedback, give us your thoughts on the subject. I'd be very interested to hear what our listeners have to say about today's talk. You can email us at comments and insights into thingscom. You can find us on Twitter and insights underscore things or X, whatever it's called now. You can also find us streaming five days a week on Twitch at twitchtv slash insights into things, where you can find links to all that and more on our official website at wwwinsightsinitthingscom, and you.
Speaker 3:
And don't forget to check out our other two podcasts insights and entertainment, hosted by you and mommy, and intent on a tomorrow, hosted by you and my brother Sam.