This week we look at some of the stress factors that are freaking our kids out with frenzied Back to School activities. From gathering school supplies to orienting yourself to a new school we discuss many of the things that worry teens during this time of year. We'll talk about concerns fitting in with new students, adjusting your sleep schedule, anxiety over remembering your classes and the general expectations parents, teachers and even students place on themselves.
An original podcast by a husband and wife team of self professed pop-culture geeks. It is a discussion about all things entertainment from movies and music to television and pop culture. We examine some of the more obscure aspects of the entertainment industry.
This week we look at some of the stress factors that are freaking our kids out with frenzied Back to School activities. From gathering school supplies to orienting yourself to a new school we discuss many of the things that worry teens during this time of year. We'll talk about concerns fitting in with new students, adjusting your sleep schedule, anxiety over remembering your classes and the general expectations parents, teachers and even students place on themselves.
An original podcast by a husband and wife team of self professed pop-culture geeks. It is a discussion about all things entertainment from movies and music to television and pop culture. We examine some of the more obscure aspects of the entertainment industry.
Insightful podcast by informative hopes, insights into thing, a podcast network.
Speaker 2:[inaudible]
Speaker 3:welcome to insights into teens, a podcast series, exploring the issues and challenges of today's youth. Your hosts are Joseph and Madison is a father and daughter team making their way through the challenges of the teenage years.
Speaker 2:[inaudible]
Speaker 4:welcome to insights into teens. Again, this is episode 32 back to school stress. I'm your host, Joseph Waylon and my brilliant and beautiful cohost, Madison Wayland. Hi everyone. So gotta love a live broadcast here. We had a bit of a technical glitch here. Our, our a studio software decided to shut down on us right in the middle of the stream a few minutes ago. Uh, so, uh, we apologize for that. And uh, we are back. So we are talking about back-to-school stress. Yep. And you started back to school on Wednesday, right? Correct. And you've had a early dismissals this week for three days. So you haven't had a full day yet, but you have been introduced to some of the big changes that you did not have to deal with last year. Yep. Including a nine period day. Yep. So you're moving from class to class, you have all different teachers, you're dealing with lockers, you're carrying books, you're dealing with the exceptionally early lunch. Right. Um, and you're dealing with Abra classmen again. Um, dealing with multiple homerooms. Yeah. Dealing with Jim every day. Yup. Um, and having to get changed for Jim now. So you've got a gym uniform you have to wear. Yup. So we have all these new and interesting things that are stress points for you. So we're gonna talk about all those things and see where your stress levels are and uh, maybe give some hands on how to, how to help deal with some of that stress. So shall we get into it again? Yes. Hopefully the transitional work this time.
Speaker 5:Yup.
Speaker 4:Oh, last month. It's always nice when I push a button and the system doesn't crash on me. Yeah. So typically start off with a definition and they don't really have a definition for back to school stress. So I put together a little summary. Alrighty. So many kids and parents are feeling mounting anxiety over the approach of a new school year from hectic mornings to last minute projects that many activities that make up the busy schedules of the school year can be tough on both parents and students causing at times intense stress and anxiety. We're going to look at some of the common forms of stress surrounding the start of the school and give some tips on how to deal with him in order to manage the stress as best as possible. So with that in mind, um, even last year you had a number of projects that we had to work on and they were all an exercise in time management and resource management and you know, organizational skills and stuff like that. And I suspect that you're going to have a lot more of those this year. So they're all going to be stress points. So any questions about what we're talking about before we get into it? Nope. Okay. So the first thing that we're going to look at is what causes stress during back to school. Some of the common things that cause stress. Alrighty.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 4:So the first one that's on the list here is a feeling of being lost and confused. New Challenges such as a new locker, finding classrooms and adjusting to a new school schedule can cause anxiety, confusion for your team. Now, I know prior to the start of school, these were some of the things that were freaking you out. Um, now that you're three half days in the school, how are these as stress points for you now? How are you dealing with them? Is, are they still a problem?
Speaker 6:Um, the no longer a problem really. I'm, I'm, it's easier for me to navigate the school. I'm still a little nervous if I'm ever, if I ever become late. Right. And I just get nervous with that.
Speaker 4:Now, have you had any instances where you showed up late to class so far?
Speaker 6:No, not really.
Speaker 4:Has anybody else shown up late to class in your classes? Yeah. And how's the teacher don't with that?
Speaker 5:Um, I'm
Speaker 6:not entirely sure. Like, um, I know if like you go to the wrong classroom, you have to take a late pass and go to your actual classroom and give it to, um, your teacher who you're, you have to have your class. And I've had students confuse their classes with other classes in different period.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah. I used to have that problem. Hey, you should take me about a, I dunno, a week, two weeks maybe before I finally got things down pat. And it's just a matter of, you know, repeating the patterns over and over. So the next one they have on the list here is teens feel lonely until new friends are made. Making new friends is not easy. And I think we both know that your teen may initially experience hardships that come with trying to make new friends. I think on this front you're actually doing pretty well because you're actually, you have kids that you were friends with before that you haven't seen in your class in quite some time that are in your class now. Right? Ah, yeah. So how many classes do you have where you don't have someone that you know?
Speaker 6:Um, let's see. I think ELA, um, um,
Speaker 2:[inaudible]
Speaker 6:I think so far that's all I can think of.
Speaker 4:Okay. So that's, that's not bad. You know, you had eight periods to deal with and only one, I'm not counting lunch as a period sweetheart. Okay. You have eight classes to deal with. Okay. Okay. You and you have seven of them. You've got someone that you know in there at least. So I think you're doing pretty good so far with that. Um, so hopefully you'll, you know, you'll make new friends, you're exposed a, another crowd, a new crowd of people and you'll make new friends. Some teens are worried they can't cope with the new[inaudible]. The new schoolwork demands a new school year comes with new unknown demands. Teens encounter stresses they didn't anticipate with new class loads, pack schedules, homework or large projects they've never encountered before. I'm starting off with three partial days. I'm sure you've not been overwhelmed with schoolwork at this point, right?
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Have they given you any hint on the level of homework you'll be getting or anything?
Speaker 6:Yeah. And my advanced math, we're gonna basically be getting homework every single day, which I'm not surprised by because that was how my actual, my other advanced math class was. And I know people who have all four classes, they're going to be getting homework like every single day.
Speaker 4:Right. So we've only, you only chose one advanced class this year. And that's advanced math. What other advanced classes you have? You're at an advanced ELA you could have chosen. Yeah. Did they have an advanced history class? Yes. And what was the fourth one? Science. Science. Okay. So we'll see how you do with, with the advanced math and see how the workload is. Did they give any hints on what your projects are going to look like this year?
Speaker 6:Um, no. Okay.
Speaker 4:No, I guess as a school year words on, we'll, we'll figure that stuff out. So the next thing they have on list year is teens are worried they won't fit in. Changes in style or physical or emotional changes happen over the summer. That mean make your teen worry they'll not fit in. Um, is that a concern of yours not fitting in?
Speaker 6:Mm, somewhat. In what way? Like I just feel like since I really don't see my friends that go to my school, my friend thought I've had for a long time since they're not in any of my classes, I just feel like sometimes I'm afraid that I'll feel invisible again like I did last year.
Speaker 4:Right. So you've got, you've got a new group of people that you have to get used to and they have to get used to you. Um, and you know, I think the proper way to to go about it is to look at it as an opportunity to make new friends. Um, and I know that's not something that you generally jump right on, but I'd much rather you look at it from the positive aspect of finding new people with similar interests as yours rather than it being a negative experience. Uh, the next thing that we have on the list here is teens are afraid they won't meet expectations of parents new school years bring new expectations, especially if a teen is gearing up for college, which you are, but you're not just yet. Yeah. They may fear failing to meet parental expectations. Uh, so the mommy and I put a lot of pressure on you to succeed in school.
Speaker 6:Not really.
Speaker 4:Do you fear not meeting our expectations?
Speaker 7:Yes.
Speaker 4:And why is that? Why do you, why do you have that fear?
Speaker 6:Well, I feel like if I don't succeed, I'll be a failure.
Speaker 4:Well, yes, by definition, if you don't succeed, you're failure. Sweetheart.
Speaker 6:Why do books? My Confidence Level Daddy,
Speaker 4:what is your level of, what is your measure of success? Is My question
Speaker 7:like,
Speaker 4:like you brought home straight A's every year in your last school. Do you think that's where the measure of success is bringing home straight A's?
Speaker 6:I don't want to have the chance of getting a B on one of my grades.
Speaker 4:Okay. But just to be clear, that is an expectation that you put on yourself. Mommy and daddy don't expect you to bring home straight A's. It's wonderful that you do. We are exceedingly proud of you for doing so. But did you come home with a B, we're not going to disown you and put you up for adoption or anything crazy like that. You know, I was and you know, I would freely admit I was a solid c student, you know, and she's gotten me through school and I didn't had I exerted myself and pushed myself, I probably could have brought home straight A's. Um, but there were a number of factors that prevented me from doing that. Um, I don't expect you to bring home straight A's. So if that's the measure of success that you're going by, that's your measure of success. Okay. Don't think that Mommy and daddy are going to come down hard on you if you bring home a, B or a c, as long as you're not failing your classes. I'm mostly satisfied. But when you come home with straight A's, that's a moneymaker for you to also the school. What about the school? The school was I conversations well, the school doesn't really put expectations on you. No, they don't. The school expects you to pass. They expect you to absorb the material they're teaching you and they expect you to pass. You're not going to school to satisfy the school. You're going to school to educate and advance yourself so you can go back down however you want. There are ways to do that where you benefit the most. And there are ways like with me where I didn't take full advantage of the opportunity to bring home higher grades, but that's entirely on your shoulders. The school was their, their, their facilitators. Okay. Um, but this specific question dealt with parental expectations and, and modeling. And Daddy don't expect you to bring home A's. We'll do everything we can to help you, but he can bring it home. A, B, it's not the end of the world. Just keep that in mind. All right. I know you want to do it for your own success and that's great. Do it for yourself. That's the most important thing. Uh, the last thing that we have on the list here is, uh, many of the stresses and worries. Teens face stem from the unknown. They don't know if there'll be able to adjust who they'll talk to, how much work though have, or what their parents' expectations are. So how many factors right now, now, now again, this was done in the context of a discussion before school started. School's been in session for only three days now. How many unknown factors are out there right now that are worrying you?
Speaker 6:Um, uh, weather. Um, I guess like if the amount of homework impounded on how I'm going to have to manage my time and I guess stuff like that.
Speaker 4:Okay. And, and to that point, you know, you've got a lot of time after school now. Um, cause you're not doing aftercare, you don't have anyone distracting you or do you think the amount of time that you're going to have afterschool will allow you to do the homework load? So that's good. That's good. Um, so the next thing I'd like to do is some back to school questions and answers and get your input on them. Okay. Okay. All right.
Speaker 5:[inaudible]
Speaker 4:so we have 15 questions and these come from a Huffington post article on back to school. Questions to ask your kids. So we'll just go down and I'll get your input on them. So question one is what are you most excited about in the upcoming school year?
Speaker 5:Um hmm.
Speaker 6:Ah, yes. Anything. I don't think so because I think my anxiety mainly took over my thoughts on schools, so, okay.
Speaker 4:Okay ma'am. That's a fair answer. Uh, how about what do you least looking forward to
Speaker 6:the pounds of homework?
Speaker 4:The pounds of homework. Okay. I can understand that. What do you see as your biggest challenge this school year?
Speaker 6:Um, I guess maybe having to keep up with everything.
Speaker 4:Okay. Okay. Yeah, there's a, there's a lot more work you're going to have to do and sure. Question four, are there any nonacademic issues that concern you about the upcoming year? Um,
Speaker 6:maybe the fact that I'll be invisible like I usually was at my old school.
Speaker 4:Okay. And I think that's something that you have the power to correct by being a little bit more forthcoming. And I think you're getting better at it. You know you've had issues, you know, even just ordering dinner at a restaurant that you've, you've gotten much better at. And I think when you continue to improve those social skills, you won't have that invisibility issue. And again, there's nothing wrong with being invisible cause sometimes you just want to be left alone. Okay. Question Five, what are your academic goals for the year?
Speaker 5:Um,
Speaker 6:trying to keep up my straight A's like I had an elementary school.
Speaker 4:Okay. That is a very bold goal to have. So I don't think you're going to have too much of an effort with it. You might, you might see yourself stumble a little bit in the beginning until you get adjusted to it, but I think you'll get through it. Okay. What are your personal goals for the year?
Speaker 6:Like
Speaker 4:Mike, is there a particular activity you want to do? A sport you want to play a club you want to join? Do you want to improve your artwork?
Speaker 8:Um,
Speaker 6:I guess improving my art work would be the one that I'm mainly looking at.
Speaker 4:Okay. And there are things at school offers that I'm sure could help you along those lines. Question seven, how can we mommy and daddy help to support you in achieving your goals?
Speaker 6:I guess you're telling me that it's not that bad and that I'm overreacting over everything again. Okay. Like I usually do.
Speaker 4:So basically keep you grounded and keep you from psyching yourself out. Yeah. Gotcha. And we'll be there for you for that question. He, is there one general theme you need or want to focus on?
Speaker 6:Trying to keep my academic scores as high as I can.
Speaker 4:Okay. You're very ambitious with that. I admire that. Question number nine, what will you do differently from last year?
Speaker 8:Um,
Speaker 4:aside from the obvious change of routine and everything that is school, you know, are you changing your, your work philosophy? Are you changing your attention focus? Are you,
Speaker 8:um,
Speaker 6:I guess so. I guess right now what I have to change is trying to make sure I'm awake because by the end of the day I feel super sleepy and I gotta keep myself awake.[inaudible]
Speaker 4:yes, I could see where that would be a problem. Um, question 10, is there anything in particular that will help motivate or focus you?
Speaker 8:Um,
Speaker 6:I guess knowing it's not as bad as I think.
Speaker 4:Okay. And now there's light at the end of the tunnel there and you were, you take whatever you take, you know, homework projects, whatever you take the big thing, you break up into small parts, you can do it little by little and you can get through it that way. You see progress too. It's important to be able to see progress, especially when it's a large project. Question 11, do you want to make any changes to your study environment that may improve or enhance your study habits?
Speaker 8:Um,
Speaker 6:I guess just make sure I um, make like I have like designated schedule. Like I do homework and then afterwards I study for any tests or quizzes I have.
Speaker 4:Okay. So you generally do your homework and studying in your room. Is there anything that we can do to enhance your room for you? Do you need a nicer desk, a better study, light, a new computer or anything like that?
Speaker 8:Um,
Speaker 6:I don't really think there's any thing else. I just, I guess maybe if I had to study and they were like, it was like, um, multiple choice and there was like multiple choice answers, I would want someone to like give me the question, I'd give them the answer.
Speaker 4:So you need a study partner for something like that. Okay. That makes sense. Uh, question 12, what are the biggest distractions and how can we help you manage them?
Speaker 6:Um, biggest distractions,
Speaker 4:you know, cats walking across the keyboard while you're doing something or, you know,
Speaker 8:um,
Speaker 6:yes. Directions. I don't think there's really a need, just tractions that I can think of. Okay. If you guys are home though, I liked the volume to keep it low. I think that's the biggest distraction so far. Is the noise
Speaker 4:no cranking up, you know, Star Wars in the home theater or anything like that while you're trying to do homework? Yes, I think that's a reasonable request. Um, question 13, how are you planning the Bernhardt prioritize your schoolwork and activities and how can we be of help? You'd sort of touched on that a little bit already, but kind of expound on that a little.
Speaker 6:Um, I was hoping to like have the schedule I had last year where I would do the hard stuff first and if I needed help I'd ask you guys and then I do the easy stuff afterwards. Okay. That works. Basically start off with the hearts and get over with the easy or would get the easy done. And then when you guys came home, my word, um, asked you for help if I had any hard ones.
Speaker 4:That works. That makes sense. Question 14, is there anything we can do to help you get or stay organized? Do we need to teach you about organization? Do we need to get you some kind of folio organizer software or anything like that?
Speaker 8:Um,
Speaker 6:I don't think so. I think for now I'm pretty good.
Speaker 4:Okay, good. And the last question that we have on list here is what's the best way for us to keep a pulse on your schoolwork? How can we, what's the best for mommy and I to check in with you without being annoying, but make sure that we're giving you the support that you need.
Speaker 6:Um, I guess just asking me how was, how much, asking me like coming into my room and saying, how's the homework going? And I'll just tell you guys like how much I finished. I don't think that's considerably annoying unless I have a really bad day and I really hate everything.
Speaker 4:Okay, well that's good to know and I'm sure you'll let us know when those days happen. Right. All right. So that was all we had for, uh, the questions and answers. Uh, when we come back, we will look at tips for combating back to school stress.
Speaker 5:Yes.
Speaker 4:So these come from children's Hospital of Colorado. Uh, and these are just some hints for parents out there to help their teens. Um, some things that the parents can do, somethings the teens can do. Uh, and we'll just run through the list and we'll see. It's your get your feedback on them. Okay. So the first thing is talking about it, you know, ask your child what he or she is worried about. Uh, if, uh, they show any kind of concerns and talk about the fun and exciting things, uh, that will be happening throughout the school year. So do we have an open dialogue for the most part? And can we, can we talk about things? Yeah. Does that help you when we talk about things?
Speaker 6:Yes, it does. And it's gotten to the point where you are my, for you and my friends are my first priority of talking to people when I have a problem. Right. And it actually annoys me when like teachers or other people will ask me like, will as well and tell me to tell them about their problem, about my problems. And I honestly just can't stand it.
Speaker 4:Well, a lot of it has to do with trust. I mean, no one's going to open up to someone who don't know and they don't trust. Yeah. And sometimes teachers play that role, but that trust level isn't there early in the year. Um, but I'm sure there are some teachers that over the course of the school year, you'll build that level of trust within and might want to have those kinds of conversations. Like Mr t, like you were able to talk the rest of your t about things, but that was because you built that rapport with him over the course of the school year. Yeah. So the next thing is stay positive. If you show enthusiasm for what the new school year brings, your kids are sure to pick up on it and the nervous energy will turn it into excitement. And I think mommy and I have had been kind of very excited about you moving into this next phase because it's a big step, you know, in school, this is really what school, um, the school formula of a school functions going to look like for you for the foreseeable future. Um, but it seems difficult to keep you focused on the positive though. Yeah. So, and this is, that's the thing, like everything, there's a, there's a plus and a minus to everything. Um, and if you focus just on the negative, you're never going to see the positives and get it. And if you don't see it, we can't take advantage of them. Yeah. So we have to get better at that. I think. Um, get back on schedule. This is a big one before the school year begins. Start establishing the school year bedtimes, which we didn't really do wake the children up at the time. They'll be getting up for school, which we didn't really do
Speaker 6:well. We actually did like the day before,
Speaker 4:one day before. That doesn't establish a schedule unfortunately. Uh, also eat meals on more regular schedules before school starts and they're really, we didn't really change much with that one there, but I think we kind of dropped the ball on this one where we didn't really start. We should've started like a week or so before to get you used to it. So then your body would have been used to those different hours. Um, but eh, you can't win them all. Right.
Speaker 6:Yeah. Still, I'm still fine with the scope with the schedule of me though. So yeah, you're doing okay when it still works out. I adapt after like one day. So
Speaker 4:it's true. You are very adaptable. Don't over-schedule your child or family. Also include your child in decisions regarding what or how many activities they're involved in. Ask him or her how much they can handle and handle it in addition to schoolwork. So you're not in sports or any clubs right now. So this is less of an issue with school-related things. Um, but you know how mommy and I like to do stuff on the weekends. We don't always like to sit around the house. You know, if that gets to be a problem and we're doing stuff that's too much of a demand on you, you to let us know. Um, that's why my general thumb is one day to play one day to rest on the weekends. And that does usually a fairly effective formula. Yeah, set expectations. There's that dirty word again, expectations. Uh, go through expectations, uh, ahead of time about getting dressed, eating breakfast and appropriate grooming so that everyone gets out the door on time. Now that one we did pretty much established because like you don't get showers in the morning, you'll get showers in the evening. Yeah. So we're not fighting over the bathroom for that stuff. Yeah. Um, the change in times is actually very helpful because you and I aren't getting out the door at the same time, so we're not both fighting the brush our teeth in the morning anymore. Yeah. Which is kind of cool. Um, and I think, you know, get the, get the lunch ready the night before, get the bag, packed it all your stuff ready, get your clothes ready. Um, I think mommy did a fantastic job of setting those expectations so far. Have you found any issues, you know, in organization getting out the door in the morning? Um,
Speaker 6:no. Just when I'm actually tired. It takes me a little longer.
Speaker 4:Yeah. The other does it not happen with all of us? Yup. Um, make it special for younger children include a family photo, which we did. Yeah. Which, by the way, I insisted on that this year cause mommy didn't print the sign out. So the night before, mommy comes downstairs, she's, you know, giving me a kiss, can I have to go to bed? And I said, well did you do the sign? And she's like, well no, I, I didn't do the sign it and print it off. I said, well we got to do it. So she sat down at my computer right there. We grabbed some clip art off the Internet and banged out the sign right there so that she could take the picture cause it's a family tradition. We didn't want to go without it. Yup. Uh, and I did get your note by the way that you left for me. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. That's the other thing here. It says a special note in their backpacks. So I should be putting notes in yours, not the other way around. Um, help them get through the day. So I thought that was Kinda cute. Um, stay involved with your child's school and have regular communication with the teacher, even if it's over email now. That's one thing that I think mommy's far better at than I am, mainly because I don't like to talk to people. Um, but mommy keeps me informed so I let her head up that side of things. Uh, and I think for the most part we're pretty involved. We try to get to all your events. Um, even if I can't make your parent teacher conference, Mommy has video conference me in, in the past. Yeah. Um, so I like to try and stay as involved as possible. Um, that's a lesson, a hard lesson that I learned from Sam where when Sam was going through school, I didn't have the same luxury, the same flexibility that I have with you. And as a result, I missed out on a lot of the stuff that Sam went through in school. And yeah, that's one of the regrets. Regrets that I have years later now. Yeah. Get it organized. Do you think you're organized when it comes to your schoolwork? Yeah. So they say establish a family calendar. We're all after school events and important assignments. Assignment due dates are easy to spot, which we have done in the kitchen. Prepare school bags and clothes the night before, which you do a of books and school supplies on shelves or inboxes or drawers. Organize all paperwork by priority. So let's talk about that. Your school supplies, everything you do for home, you keep either in your school bag or in your room. Yeah. Do You keep it organized?
Speaker 6:Yeah, I actually just organize my binders and just like for different subjects I have all the things I need for that subject in my binders and my am binder and my pm binder basically am all the subjects before lunch and pm for all the subject after lunch.
Speaker 4:Okay. Well then you are very organized. Um, what else do they say here? Make a single to do list of all the tests you need to complete each day. Uh, now that's one where your phone would come in handy if you could put your to do lists on your phone cause you can even attach alarms to it and follow ups and stuff like that. So as the school year goes on, we'll learn how to get better with that stuff. Yeah. Plan the homework load, make a plan for where and when homework will be done, which you've done. And you've even articulated that here. Uh, is it always done at the kitchen table right after school or is there a desk that you, your child uses for homework time after dinner. So you've got that down pat. I think, uh, you, you split the homework up by difficulty level. You tackle it by difficulty level, you know where you're doing it. So I think you're hitting that one on the mark 100% there. And the last thing that they have here is stick to a schedule so that it's always part of the evening routine. So if you come home and do your homework, do what every day. You know, if you do it in the same order, do it in the same order, this way your body, your mind, everything gets into the habit of doing that. And it helps to keep you from feeling overwhelmed for at any point in time. And I think you do that. So I think you're, you're well on the road to success this school year, so congratulations. Thank you. Um, and I think that was all that I had to talk about today. We'll come back with closing remarks and shout outs and get your final thoughts
Speaker 5:[inaudible]
Speaker 4:go with your closing remarks.
Speaker 6:So for anyone watching who, um, has, um, stress of the new school year, just know that you're not alone. There are other people out there who have the same stress and even though your stress might be worse than what I have, everyone's has different levels of stress and I'm pretty sure there's still someone out there who has the same stresses. You just make sure to keep in contact with their parent slash Guardian and um, just make sure you have people who will support you through, because that's
Speaker 9:basically what I'm your, what Andrew stress in the end.
Speaker 4:Okay. Very good. And I think that's a very good point that you know, people need to know that they're not the only ones that have the stress. It's a shared stress that everyone goes through, and you know, if people can understand that and maybe help each other out, it lessens that stress a little bit. Um, that's all we had this week, and we'll be back next week with another Greek podcast. Bye.
Speaker 9:Okay.
Speaker 2:[inaudible].